Widowhood - Celebrating the strength in single women

The 15th SAARC Summit adopted the Colombo Declaration, that vows, among other things, to “work for regional cooperation for the elimination of all forms of discrimination and abuse against women in general and widows in particular and guarantee their rights to live in the society in a dignified manner.” In spite of this stately declaration, little has changed for the widows in Nepal. 

June 23rd is celebrated around the world as International Widows’ Day. First formally adopted at the United Nations on October 21, 2005 after an announcement by Cherie Blair, first lady to former UK prime minister Tony Blair, this day celebrates the courage and temerity in widows all over the world. 

This year, at the Shiva Parbati Dabali in Basantapur, Women for Human Rights, Single Women Group (WHR) celebrated the 5th International Widows’ Day by honouring 30 elderly women who have gone through a life of hardship and yet, crusaded tirelessly for the rights of single women. These women, all over the age of 60, were from eight different districts – Banke, Bardiya, Dhangadi, Dang, Kaski, Lamjung, Dhading and Ramechhap. In addition to the felicitation, books and stationary was also distributed to the children of 50 single women who lost their husbands during the decade-long civil war. 

Among the most marginalized and discriminated against of all groups in Nepal, widows not only face socio-economic, cultural and religious discrimination, but also lack access to justice and proper legal provisions. Despite their increased vulnerability to violence and abuse, single women and widows are virtually ignored by the state. They are not given any rights to decision-making—whether concerning their own bodies, or on issue of remarriage. They do not have proper inheritance and property rights, suffer from unemployment, and are often given discriminatory wages. Due to the high illiteracy rate among women, most widows find it difficult to fend for themselves in a hostile society that, to a certain extent, still values the male above the female. And so, economic dependency increases their vulnerability to violence. Sometimes, they are even trafficked and sexually harassed. 

Chandrika Bhattarai, chairperson of WHR, and Sahana Pradhan, former Minister of Foreign Affairs, both stressed the need for governmental support for young widows. They were of the opinion that single women, just like any other group, could also be agents of social change and development and that the government should not dismiss their potential so easily. Pradhan also applauded the many sacrifices that single women make for their families.

Lily Thapa, founder of WHR, also highlighted the harsh economic realities that single women often face. She too vocalized the indifference of the government in providing adequate support. According to government policy, only single women who have passed 60 years of age are entitled to a ‘widow allowance’. However, any woman over the age of 60 is entitled to an allowance for the elderly, not just widows. It is evident that the state is giving no special treatment to single women, and has made no arrangements for the economic independency of young widows. 

WHR, since its establishment in 1994 by Thapa has been fighting for years to put women’s rights on the agenda. It has met with a little success in putting forward the widow’s rights as an issue of national importance and one that requires public dialogue and discourse.  WHR has coordinated over 44,000 widows organized into 225 group in 52 districts of the country to act as peace cadres, mediators and pressure groups in the fight for widow’s rights. Under the initiation of WHR, the term ‘widow’, which means ‘empty’ in Sanskrit, was replaced by ‘single women’ in legislation.

In her book, the The Widow’s Might, Cherie Drew writes that widows were “strong, intelligent, beautiful, inspirational, determined, and focused; they raised children that changed the history of the world. These women have given us many powerful and encouraging examples. Through their lives we learn that widowhood is not the end of our success, but it should be the beginning of a new and God-focused life. God knew when we married our spouses that we would be without them one day. He knew the pain and hardships we would face, and He knew the questions we would want answered…I find that being a widow is a unique and special calling.” An accurate reflection of the courage that these amazing women live with, widows, especially in societies like ours, are the true idols, those who have the spirit to stand firm in spite of their sorrow, stigma and loneliness. 

Losing a loved one is not something to be celebrated but Widows’ Day doesn’t celebrate the loss, instead it honors those who still live, who go on despite the tragedy they’ve suffered and in spite of the society that chooses to treat them as sub-human. She often goes underappreciated in a patriarchal society like ours, but this day is one where we celebrate the single woman, that bastion of strength and integrity.