The Sex Thing

 “It’s a boy,” the mother sighs happily and forgets all the pain of the contractions she was having just a few minutes ago. The relief and the smile on her face is ecstatic. When the father,who has been waiting anxiously outside the labour room for hours, takes his son in his arms, the grin on his face and the spark in his eyes made him look as if he had just scored the winning goal in the most important game of his life.

 Gender disparity still plays out in the labour rooms of hospitals in Nepal. The difference in the sexes is an age-old discussion, dealt with by many people. But having joined the labour room recently, I get to see the real picture everyday.

I was shocked to hear a mother, who had just given birth to a girl scowl with anger: “I don’t need another girl. It was for a boy that I have been bearing all this pain. My nine months of pain and trouble, all in vain.” When I asked another mother of four girls, once again pregnant with with another girl, if she hadn't had enough of the pregnancy and the painful labour process, she replied, “Not till it’s a boy, sister.” Time and again, I am asked by these women if they were eligible for incentives for having a girl. I also frequently hear primo mothers, with their baby boys, sigh in relief and say happily, "Thank God it’s a boy, now I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant again soon.”

These are just drops in the ocean; I wonder about the rest of the ocean, filled with all our tides and whirlpools of our fickle emotions. Did my mother feel the same way when I was born? I have an elder sister and a younger brother. I wonder what it would've been like if my brother had been a sister, would I have had more siblings? 

Just days back, there was an article in the paper about modern women and women empowerment. Women have done almost everything man has and when science allows women to get pregnant without sperm, why is the happiness not the same when a girl is born? Especially in the labour room, where almost all of  the nurses and doctors are female, how can these new mothers underestimate female they have given birth to, and when they themselves are one.

Most people might think that this is because people in Nepal are illiterate, orthodox and believe that bearing a son is a pathway to heaven. However, I have read books and seen movies that have clearly highlighted the importance of a son in western, and so-called 'developed', countries as well. Why isn't there a female pope? Why is Superman much more famous than Wonder Woman? 

I don't know if my parents too fall into this category of preferring sons over daughters. But what I think, is that deep down in their hearts, there was always a "if only, she were a he." It seems like sons will be always be more important, no matter how successful we daughters are.