Let's Shoot Chivalry Dead

I see a reflection of a beautiful girl behind me, so being the gentleman, I hope I am, I humbly open the door, and stand holding the door with a moronic smile on my face. The girl stares at me; I stare back hoping that this exchange of glares turns into romantic barter of love (just like the movies). She moves closer to me…. “O, wow…this cologne really works” I think…and then she moves her lips to say, “Why the hell are you holding the door, you think I can’t get it myself, do you think I am weak?” My smile turns into a confused look; I am embarrassed. I feel like a sexist, while all I was trying was to impress the girl with my manners. A lesson learnt I pacify myself.

A couple of days later, I see another girl behind me, and this time, being the “feminist” that I am, I don’t hold open the door for her, and she gives me a highly disgusted look. I am confused yet again. I feel like a pathetic Hamlet, in limbo between “to open” or “not to open.”

Many men today are confused as to how to go about in treating a “lady”. The previously mostly muted, often helpless dame has broken the shell of traditional conformity and embarked on a journey of independence. While leaving her male counterparts mostly clueless about what they need to do to assure her of manners, while not threatening her independence. 

In the days gone by, women were considered “weaker” than men, thus they needed that extra protection, that extra care. But being a “feminist,” I feel I am insulting my ideology and women in general, if I were chivalrous for that reason. If I hold on to my belief that women are no less than men, then why all this fuss about chivalry towards women? We should scrap the idea of “ladies first.” And a true lady should not be expected to be treated any differently than a man. Though I condone any kind of violence, why are people not shocked when a woman raises her hand on a man, but make a commotion when the visa versa happens? Violence of any kind should generate the same reaction. 

I have heard my female friends say, “We like it when we are treated well and appreciated. ” So do we, I naively respond. “No, but it’s different, we are girls, we are equal but we need to be treated better, we are more equal that you”. More equal? How sexist is that?

My male friends on the other hand think that a woman must we treated well because she is a woman. I question about equality and they say “Treating a woman like a woman does not harm equality”. Like a woman? What does that mean, I ponder.

Treating women equally is a must. When women raise their voices, other women who have not had the opportunity to do so, feel inspired. This leads to a wider awakening of the silently suffering masses.  The concept of equality is trampled upon by stupid rules of unnecessary manners. I think it’s unmannered to treat women differently. Treating women differently shows that you are not ready to accept them as equals, while allowing someone to treat you well just because you are a woman shows that you do not consider yourself an equal.

I am not saying that men and women are the same; they are different. Neither am I suggesting that you treat your better half the same way you treat your friends. I suggest that you treat your better half well because she/he is your better half, and not because he/she is a woman or a man. 

I see another beautiful lady walking behind me, but this time I hold no doors. I put my morals before my manners. And even though manners, honor, and respect for a fellow human being should never die, any social norm that treats one gender different than the other should be shot dead.