Goldstar For Life

In the midst of all the turmoil, chaos, and political brawl in our country, one of the major issues has been left in the shadows. All of the politicians, so called civil society leaders and concerned bodies have lobbied, time and again, to change the national flag, the national song, the national animal, the national flower, the national luminaries, and the national what not. Surprisingly, they have completely sidelined the necessity to change the national dress and not to forget – the national shoes.

Dear Nepali people, the time has come.  I, hereby, propose – Goldstar (black) as the national shoes of the Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal.

 Here are the obvious facts:

Goldstar is cheap. It costs only Rs 350 a pair. Thats less than $5.  Its even cheaper than Chinese shoes.

Goldstar is mighty strong. The popular “haatti chhap chappal” is a historical mistake, in fact it was Panchayati propaganda. Guess what? Goldstar is stronger than that goofy haatti and stronger than that even goofier haatti chhap chappal. Screw that haatti. The Maoists (of Nepal, not China) wore Goldstar shoes throughout their lucrative guerrilla careers while waging the bloody ten year insurgency. How? Because on top of being strong (screw that hattti again), sturdy and sexy – Goldstar is also gloriously comfy. It’s made to bear the brunt of mud, rain, storms, thunder, monarchy and any other political hostility.

Today’s world is all about multi-tasking and Goldstar shines in this category too. In fact, it outshines every thing else. You can put them on for cooking, jogging, running, hunting and swimming, even bungee jumping, just ask Hisila Yami; if it hadn't been for Goldstar, she wouldn’t have dared to take the jump. You can wear them while ploughing land and  while driving motorbikes. Unlike the Internet, which has been plagued by the digital divide, Goldstar has no such accessibility issue. There’s no Goldstar-divide. It appeals to the entire spectrum of economy – rich, poor, police, army, retards, geeks, sleeks, illegal-groups, politicians, robbers, ministers, kidnappers. Goldstar is classy to the core but beyond just any class. Everybody loves Goldstar, even Chuck Norris.

Goldstar – home made in Nepal – for life. Don’t think twice. Give up your Chucks, throw away your sneakers, your trendy Adidas, your chic high heels, and your gay leather shoes. Just get this one for Rs 350 and lace this beauty up on your feet. Your girlfriends might lie, bitch and run away. Your boyfriends might slack, flunk and remain jobless. But Goldstar will never betray you.

Embrace your national shoes, folks. Wear Goldstar to lead Nepal into a new era of prosperity!

Originally published in amalekh.wordpress.com