"No such thing as a major or minor role," Pashupati Rai

Pashupati Rai began her journey into theatre in an unlikely manner. When she first came to Kathmandu from Dharan few years back, all she wanted to do was dance. Theater happened by chance and when it happened, she gravitated towards it. At Gurukul, she did small roles in big plays like Bagh Bhairav, Tara Baji Lai Lai, Master Builder, and Mayadevika Sapana. This year, her portrayal of the character of Geeta in Khariko Ghero, a Nepali adaptation of Bertolt Brecht's The Caucasian Chalk Circle, turned quiet a few heads and got the audience to take notice of her. This graceful and confident young theatre artiste is all set to make her name in Nepal's theatre scene. V.E.N.T! Magazine talked to Pashupati about her life and journey into the world of theater.        

Please tell us about when and how you first ventured into theatre?

When I started acting, senior theatre artistes warned us that we might not get to eat for days, we will have to do all the work ourselves, cleaning, cooking and everything else. They told us that we will earn only enough to make ends meet and not more. If you still think you can survive then join theatre, a director said. So I knew the realities of being a theatre artiste even before I joined, I had ample warning. It wasn’t the appeal of glamour or a desire for wealth that brought me here. 

I come from Dharan and I grew up dreaming about coming to Kathmandu one day.  I loved dancing so I thought I’ll learn dancing in Kathmandu and make a name for myself in that field! When I heard Gurukul offered scholarships to study theatre, I thought it would be something good to learn. Once setting foot in Kathmandu, I was quite determined to stay here. After two years of learning theatre and acting, my mind is now set on theatre. As you grow old, you start realizing you have a certain responsibility towards yourself. After putting so much hard work and passion into theatre, I feel that this is where I belong and I need to seriously think about how to make my future in this field.

What did your family think about your decision to take up acting as a career?

I was quite young when I first came to Kathmandu-right after finishing SLC. My mother still doesn’t know exactly what theatre is or what plays are. She has seen me on stage a few times and she thinks that's what I do, act on stage. She believes that her daughter isn’t doing anything wrong and that makes her happy. My family has never stopped me from doing what I want. I have complete support from them.

How did you feel performing in front of your family for the first time?

The first time my mother and my family saw me perform was at the Theatre Festival held in Biratnagar recently. I was happy that my family was in the audience but I also felt a little shy, a little strange, but mostly happy. 

You have been with Gurukul ever since you came to Kathmandu. How is the life here?

There is so much to do around Gurukul that we even forget to step out of this hillock. Sometimes, when we go out after a month or so, the world outside seems so different. The noise and disorder surprise me. I feel lost in the crowd, but here, it is calm. This feels like home. A month passes by and I don’t even realise that I haven't stepped out. 

Besides being an actor, you look after technical aspects at Gurukul as well? Do tell us about that.

Yes, I look after the sound department in the theatre. I have to make sure that sound equipments, wires and microphones are in order. Sometimes, when the theatre halls are hosting other events besides the play, you will probably see me run around fixing microphones and on the control board at the back of the theatre. 

How is it different performing for street plays versus performing inside the theatre?

While on stage, we know the audience is there but we cannot see anyone. We hear them clap and laugh. The lights, the sound and the stage take over and we enter a separate zone. In street performances, we interact with the audience and there is a lot of improvisation. It is different, but I like performing for both. 

Once I became completely blank on stage. I didn’t know what to say. Then a friend helped out with the dialogue and I picked my cue and continued with the act. In street dramas, we improvise so much we can’t even keep count.  Staging a play depends completely on team work. If someone forgets their line or their entry, the other has to handle the play and the audience. The group is also important in helping improve one another’s character and help it shine. On stage, we’re constantly supporting and inspiring each other.

How different are audiences of street plays to the ones of theatre?

There are all kinds of people that come to watch street plays. It's usually free so everyone has access to them. Often, you’ll find the most ordinary people in your audience. In street dramas, I have found that people are usually interested in the story and they connect what is happening in the play with their lives. Whereas in stage performances, the audience is more informed about the technical aspects of the story, lighting, sound, costumes, and dialogues. We usually get an interesting mix of people. 

In places like the UK, India, Denmark, and Bangladesh, I found the audience to be a bit different. They have a lot of respect for this profession and for us artistes. Once the light dims in the theatre, everyone is quiet, even the kids. 

What do you think attracts people to theatre?

Theatre has the ability to create an entire world on the stage and I think that is the main reason that people come to us. The life that we live in a couple of hours is what pulls the audience. There is a certain versatility to theatre that is also appealing - how the same stage can become a jungle in one scene, a house in the next and a riverbank in the one after that. 

Do you feel that theatre has a strong role to play in contemporary culture? Why do you think people come to the theatre when they have TV channels and cinemas?

Certainly! Theatre is a traditional art form, but is still popular in today’s context. Cinema is a really good medium as well, but in Nepal, not everyone has access to it. In plays, all you need are actors, everything else is optional. Theatre serves a very important purpose of enforcing values and creating awareness. I think street dramas are a great medium to spread messages of socio-cultural importance to a large audience. Street drama brings forth issues like domestic violence, discrimination and other such social issues. Plays often act as society’s mirror; we project on stage what is going on, and then allow people to see for themselves and decide what is wrong or right in society. This is how plays help in bringing social change as well as change in the people’s mindset. So, I find theatre very relevant to Nepal. As for why people attend theatre performances when they have television and cinema - it is for the same why people go to watch live concerts. There is a vast difference in the same things when they are seen on film and when they are live.

Have you thought about doing movies?

I thought I would pursue a career in movies early on, but now, I do not want to do 'singing and dancing' kind of roles. There is more to performance than that. If I get offered a good role in alternative cinema, I’d certainly be interested.

Please tell us about your journey in the realm of acting?

You learn with experience. In the beginning, when I was a student, I used to wonder how the senior actors managed to put up such performances when they got on stage. But when you enter the stage, you get the feel. You don’t see anything; you only remember your character. It is like magic, as soon as you enter the stage your mind diverts and you enter a different zone. That doesn't come easy. You have to practice to be able to reach that stage in acting when you enter the character's mind so successfully that you remember nothing but your character.

How do you separate life on stage from real life?

I find that life is not very different from theatre. Even when we speak with friends, we utter dialogues that seem to have come straight out of a play. We often find ourselves in situations that are similar to a plot within a play.  Theatre and life are very close in that way.  In plays, we depict just a few episodes of our lives at a time.

What are the challenges you face on stage? 

For me the main challenge is in analyzing characters, coming up with answers to what they think and how they think and how they should behave. Another aspect is getting the gestures and postures right and making it all believable. It is necessary to have a full voice. Also, the enunciation should be clear.

How do you play characters that you cannot relate to?

There are some roles that I can’t identify with, the ones that seem very unreal for me. After initial unease and hesitation, I give in to my imagination and try to understand what people would do in such circumstances. It is all about the feel. 

In Khariko Ghera, I felt the character. There was a scene and the director hadn’t asked me to cry. I imagined what Geeta, my character, might feel at that time and tears came to my eyes without even trying. I hadn’t planned on crying and I didn’t do any such thing either on rehearsals or on the grand rehearsal but on the opening day tears rolled from my eyes.

In Pani Photo, another play, I had to play a character whose friend had gone missing. I couldn’t relate to the character and I didn’t know what to feel because that had never happened to me. But I read newspaper articles and heard stories about people who had lost loved ones. I tried to put myself in their position and I played the part. If you have to do what you have never experienced in life, it is very difficult but acting is all about making it believable. 

Do you find any difference playing a lead role versus doing supporting roles?

Bathi Rani was the first play where I did a lead role and now in Khariko Ghera, I am the protagonist. I think there is no such thing as a major or minor role in theatre. A small, one scene role can also be powerful and leave a mark on the audience. The only difference is that when you are in the lead, you get a confidence boost. You will receive praise as well as criticism and it is a great way to learn. When I get a lead role to play, I can put a lot of what I have learned into it. Earlier, I didn’t use to get much feedback from the audience. Very few People knew my name. But after Khariko Ghero, for the first time, people from the audience have come up to me and commented on my performance. 

You are bound to face criticism in your work. How do you handle it?

Whenever people criticize, I just think that if there are people who didn’t like my performance, then there must surely be people who liked it as well.

In Khariko Ghero, you work beside Sunil Pokharel and other senior artists. Don’t you worry that they will steal all the attention?

It does make a little difference. Sunil Sir is very popular. A lot of people know him. Everybody has a different kind of audience. His audience is much bigger. I believe I have an audience as well. In plays, people don’t look at the person but a character so I don’t worry that much about the attention. But there are people who come just to watch him. Otherwise, every role in a play is important and even a small role can attract audiences.

In your life, who has been your source of inspiration?  

I look up to my mom and dad for inspiration. They are not educated but their wisdom made me what I am today. They were very keen on seeing their children do well in school. There was never any discrimination. I have just as much freedom as a son would get. I know how much they have struggled in life and it inspires me  to give my best. 

Would you advise people to become theatre artistes?

I would advise people to come to this field if they really want to. There are shortcomings in this field like there are shortcomings in any other profession. There may not be much money here but if it brings them happiness then they should join theater. It is human nature to not be satisfied and seek more. So I don’t think people can truly be satisfied anywhere. But if their heart is in it, they should absolutely join theatre.

If you want to see Pashupati perform, 'Khariko Ghero' is being staged at Gurukul till May 1, 2010.

Interview by Elipha Pradhananga and all photos by Gurukul.