Issue 1
Issue 1
1 July, 2010
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Masturbation is a normal and healthy sexual act. It allows you to get to know yourself, enjoy your body and give yourself sexual pleasure. With regards to your question if this is a problem, I would say NO. As long as you are able to participate in your day to day activities like socializing and studying you have nothing to worry about!
Hey Just 14, I am so glad you wrote to us. With all your hormones raging inside your body it is no wonder you desire sex. I am sure this is a really exciting time in your life for you but there are a few things I think you should think about before you decide to get sexually active. Of the many things that you should consider are the reasons you have for wanting to have sex. Is it for the pleasure? Or perhaps for the company? Or just because all your friends are doing it? I can understand your need for sexual gratification but I am worried about your emotional needs as well. You know, it is really important that you know yourself and also, I think that you should know your sexual partner well before you get physical. I hate to sound like your mother when I say this, I am sure you realize that we live in a society that functions under social norms and laws.
Do you know that according to Nepali law underage sex is a criminal offense? The age at which a person can have consensual sex is 16 years. That means that if you or your partner is younger than 16 years then the older person can be charged with statutory rape. I know what a bummer right!! Hey but it is not the end of the world. You can always be intimate with someone without doing ‘it’. Have you thought of exploring other options to satisfy your sexual cravings like masturbation, or oral sex? It allows you to know and enjoy your body without the complications of an emotional attachment and sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. To answer your questions about prevention methods, which would depend on what you want to prevent. Let’s say you are choosing to prevent pregnancy then you/your partner can always use the birth control pill (most common in Nepal is Nilocon), depoprovera which is a contraceptive that works for 3 months (you can get this in any government health center), copper T is an intrauterine device (it is placed in a woman’s uterus and is recommended for women who have already had children) and then there is the condom. If you want to prevent sexually transmitted infections then I would say your best bet is the condom. It protects you from all STIs including HIV and Hepatitis B.
It is always nice to talk to someone who is older than you and has got some experience in these matters as well. I hope you will really think through your decision to be sexually right now. What ever you decide be safe and don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable physically or emotionally. If you have any more questions you know where to find me. : )
age , contraceptives , crime , desire , infection
So you want to know about oral sex? I will tell you with pleasure. Theoretically speaking any sexual activity that involves the use of the mouth (lips, tongue, teeth and throat) to stimulate the genitals is called oral sex. There is a name for the types of oral sex you perform depending on the body part. For instance oral sex that is performed on a man is fellatio (blow job, giving head etc), when a woman is getting the action is called cunnilingus and analingus is the oral stimulation of a person’s anus.
Ok now that you now about the terminologies let’s get talking about the practical side of it. There are really no rules to how and when oral sex can be performed. It could be a part of foreplay before intercourse, during intercourse or after intercourse. Or you can have oral sex just because you want oral sex. The good thing about oral sex is you can’t get pregnant doing it!! There’s a catch though! Like all sexual practices you got to make sure you keep yourself and your partner safe.
Dear Excited,
Regardless of whether you are a boy or a girl, I am going to use the word you to address the pregnant couple because I believe that a woman cannot have a child on her own, she needs a man for that at least as the sperm donor. First of all make sure you are pregnant. Once you are sure of that fact then kicks in the decision making time. I am sure you have had thoughts about the things I am going to mention. You know, when there is a possibility of pregnancy there are so many things that come into play. For instance your age, are you at a place in your life where you can support a child. Is your family going to be supportive of your decision to have a baby (emotionally, socially and financially)? Are you ready to have a baby? Have you thought about how you feel about terminating a pregnancy? I just want you to know that the decision is ultimately yours and no one has the right to judge your decision. They don’t live your life-you do. Have you and your partner thought about this? Is it a joint decision? If you have not had a chance to talk about it as a couple then I think you should. You know you can always have a baby and give it up for adoption.
If you are sure you are pregnant, do you know how long you have been pregnant? You might not be in a place in your life where you can support a child or maybe you don’t even want a child. Try your best not to panic and make decisions that may not be the best for you emotionally and physically. I would like to let you know that free services are provided by Mary Stoppes Nepal. Make sure you go to a reliable practitioner because terminating a pregnancy can be dangerous. It will also be advisable to get a gynecological consultation if you want. Abortion is legal in Nepal so make sure you get reliable help to avoid any complications which can affect your ability to have children when you are ready.
Dear Pill,
I presume that you are referring to the oral contraceptive pill. If you are talking about the oral contraceptive pill then you should know that it will only work if you consume the entire dose which is for a period of 4 weeks. If this is the pill you are referring to then its effect during sex would be to stop you from getting pregnant. If you are sexually active and missed 3 pills, use condoms, or do not have sex until you have taken pills for 7 days in a row.
First of all it is not okay for someone to force another person to have sex. It sounds like you are not in a healthy relationship with your boyfriend. It is his obligation to acknowledge and respect your choice to not have sex. If he is forcing you to have sex then it clearly means that he does not respect your choices as an individual. I would suggest to you that you should walk away from this relationship. You deserve to put yourself in a relationship that enriches your life, adds to your feelings of self-worth, enjoyment and growth. Have you tried to talk to him about not wanting to have sex? It might be a good time for you to evaluate your relationship and look at it critically. Here are some pointers that define a healthy relationship
- Treat each other with respect
- Are not violent with each other
- Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
- Enjoy the time you spend together
- Can trust each other
- Are each sexual by choice
- Communicate clearly and openly
Here are some pointers that define an unhealthy relationship
- Try to control or manipulate the other
- Do not make time for each other
- Criticize the other's friends
- Are afraid of the other's temper
- Discourage the other from being close with anyone else
- Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects
- Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving
You should share your experience with someone you can trust and count on to help you if things get really bad. What ever your decision is I would suggest that you always use a condom while having sex to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.
aggression , consent , relationship , trust
Good questions! There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to sex. To each his own. It is okay for a couple to have sex whenever they want as long as both of them are up for it. As to the best time to have sex, is when you are ready. While you are gearing up for enjoyment make sure you think about protection as well. It is advisable to use a condom every time.
I am just curious why would you prefer anal or oral sex to be once a month? Is it because you would be willing to endure the act once a month for your partner? It sounds like you and your partner have differing sexual preferences. Have you talked about your differences? I suggest you do. Maybe you both need to know each other better and spend time together so you are more comfortable with each other when you get intimate. Your partner seems to enjoy experimenting and edgier sex practices. You should talk about practices that arouse the both of you and make you comfortable as well.
anal sex , arousal , experimentation , intimacy , oral sex , preference
There is absolutely no reason why you should share your sexual activity with your best friends. It is you and your boyfriend’s secret to keep if you want. I think it is wise of you not to share this information if your friends don’t know how to respect you and your partner’s decision. It is more important for you and your partner to have a healthy, loving and supportive relationship than to have approval from your friends. Best wishes!
Thank you for asking your question. It is good to know that you are concerned about your reproductive health. It is never too early to start thinking about your reproductive and sexual health. It is recommended that women should regularly visit a gynecologist once they are 21 years old to get a Pap smear and a pelvic exam. If you are 21-29 get a pap smear every year and then every other year from ages 30-64. A Pap smear is a test that detects any changes in the cells of your cervix and the pelvic exam will help your gynecologist find any other changes or infections that maybe present. If you have any other questions you know where to find me. : )
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