Issue 12
Issue 12
9 January, 2011
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Dear 18-and-smoking,
That is an excellent question! Unfortunately, appealing as smoking may be, it does nasty things to your organs. As you are asking, yes it does indeed affect your sex life, especially in the long run. Smoking causes atherosclerosis (depositing of fat in the arteries) and this can affect your ability to get an erection. Smoking also does damage to your sperm and can reduce the amount of ejaculate you produce. It can also reduce your sperm count, give you abnormal shaped sperm and hamper the mobility of your sperm. So smoking can really affect your sex life and your reproductive health. It may also make you less attractive to a potential partner as it can lead to problems with your teeth or breath. So it is perhaps a good idea to quit smoking now if you want a perfectly healthy sex life in the future.
Dear Intimate-22,
Thanks for writing in. It looks like you are in a tight spot emotionally. I sense that you are feeling a mixture of guilt and the need to have your own space. Sex can get monotonous at times especially if your relationship is not growing in other aspects as well. It is great that he is supportive and it’s natural that you feel guilty for not being able to respond to him the way he would like. His frustration is natural as well but if you gave in to him then you would be the one feeling the frustration. Like you said, maybe you are tired and need some space of your own. It could be possible that you are both growing in different directions or maybe at different paces. This can take away from the spark you had earlier. But the best thing to do would be for the two of you to talk about it.
You are only 22 and (you don’t say how old he is,) you should remember that you have your whole life ahead of you. Think about where you see yourself in the next 3-5 years and take it from there. Do you both want the same things? Even if you originally did everyone has a right to change their mind? Keep in mind that sometimes we are with people because they fulfill a need in us for a time and then, possibly, we need to move on. Maybe you have both taught each other what you needed to learn? I cannot tell you exactly what you should do but I hope I have been helpful in helping you sort things out for yourself.
Uh Oh! Dear 21,
Looks like you might have problem on your hands! First of all do you know for certain that it's herpes? If this is only a suspicion you have, then please visit your gynecologist as soon as possible. It is important to confirm that it is herpes you have as symptoms for other vaginal problems such as yeast infection can also be confused with that of herpes. Also, it is always a good idea to discuss with your partner about potentially transferring any infections and make sure that you are adopting protective measures before you have sex. The problem with a disease like herpes is that it can be transmitted from one person to another without the person transmitting it experiencing any of the symptoms. So even if he may think he's never had herpes, he could easily have passed on the infection to you. But first, go to the doctor and get yourself checked up properly to figure out whether it is herpes or not. If it is herpes after all, then you will have to get yourself treated and your doctor will help you with that.
As far as your talking to your boyfriend is concerned – I can understand how that may be awkward or unpleasant, but if he is the one that gave it to you, then you should probably talk about it with him. Maybe he's had it before so he knows he infected you. But it could also be possible that he doesn't know that he's carrying the infection without it turning into a disease. If that is the case, then, it is important that he knows it. In case you two decide to break up and he goes on to be with other women, he should make sure that he is aware of his condition and his ability to pass it on to future girlfriends.
Dear Concerned Sister,
First of all let me say your sister is really lucky! Thanks for being there for her. Pregnancy is a normal physiological process for women, but still it is important to make sure that the mother and child are healthy. Some of the ways of doing that are by staying off alcohol and tobacco (of any form), making sure the mother is getting a good diet, that she's not doing too much heavy physical work etc. Your sister should definitely visit a gynecologist. One should be able to confirm that she and the baby are healthy, prescribe any prenatal vitamins she should be taking. Convince her to visit a gynecologist. You may go with her as well if that helps her overcome her shyness. You can always get a first consultation without having a physical examination if that is what freaks your sister out. If she still feels uncomfortable I would suggest that you buy her a book on pregnancy and how to be healthy during it and after as well.
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