I learned about sex mostly through my friends. But like me, they really don't know much themselves. I do not know if I should talk to my parents, I mean my mom, about this. I do not want to have sex yet but I am really curious and want to clear few things in my head.

Dear Talking it Out with Mom,

 

I am so glad you brought this question up. It is extremely important for young people to get correct information regarding sex so that they can make the best informed decisions for themselves. But this information also needs to come along with the right set of attitudes. I greatly appreciate your desire to want to talk to your mom about it. I think being able to comfortably talk about sex with a trusted elder can help you a long way in becoming more confident of the choices you will make in the future. And yet, I can understand, too, how it is something very difficult to do. Parents can often be absolutely closed about sex and act like it doesn't even exist when it comes to communicating with their children. Either that, or they are so against it that you wouldn't be able to broach the subject.

 

My advice to you is for you to trust your instinct and actually try and have this conversation with your mom. Tell her all that you are telling me here, that you do not want to have sex yet but that you are really curious about it. I think that will help put your mother at ease. Being a parent, it is natural for her to be concerned and worried if you were having sex. But do keep in mind that you may get a response that you didn’t hope for too. This just may mean that your mother needs your time to absorb the information, and eventually, will appreciate your openness about it (or may not).

 

Despite the availability of numerous forms of contraception, there is no absolute guarantee that you will not get pregnant or get infected with a sexually transmitted disease when you have sex and that is a possibility that you have to be ready for when you begin having sex. Being responsible for you, that is one reason why they would be genuinely concerned. Then there is the way society looks at sex and how communicating about it publically is still pretty much taboo.

 

The beauty about communicating is that people can really surprise you. For a long time, I never talked to my mother about my sex life, and always assumed that her views were very conservative and she would get upset and react violently. It is only after beginning to talk with her that I realized that she's actually more open minded than I'd given her credit for. Also, talking about sex is a great way to build trust between you and your parent. I think your mom will be relieved to know that she is the one you're going to for help and support rather than anybody else. If she doesn't see it that way, then try and show her, that you felt that talking to her is the best way for you to learn about this.