I'm just 14 and I have a strong desire to have sex. Do you people think that I should start with someone new? What about the prevention methods?

 Hey Just 14, I am so glad you wrote to us. With all your hormones raging inside your body it is no wonder you desire sex. I am sure this is a really exciting time in your life for you but there are a few things I think you should think about before you decide to get sexually active. Of the many things that you should consider are the reasons you have for wanting to have sex. Is it for the pleasure? Or perhaps for the company? Or just because all your friends are doing it? I can understand your need for sexual gratification but I am worried about your emotional needs as well. You know, it is really important that you know yourself and also, I think that you should know your sexual partner well before you get physical. I hate to sound like your mother when I say this, I am sure you realize that we live in a society that functions under social norms and laws.  

Do you know that according to Nepali law underage sex is a criminal offense? The age at which a person can have consensual sex is 16 years. That means that if you or your partner is younger than 16 years then the older person can be charged with statutory rape. I know what a bummer right!! Hey but it is not the end of the world. You can always be intimate with someone without doing ‘it’. Have you thought of exploring other options to satisfy your sexual cravings like masturbation, or oral sex? It allows you to know and enjoy your body without the complications of an emotional attachment and sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. To answer your questions about prevention methods, which would depend on what you want to prevent. Let’s say you are choosing to prevent pregnancy then you/your partner can always use the birth control pill (most common in Nepal is Nilocon), depoprovera which is a contraceptive that works for 3 months (you can get this in any government health center), copper T is an intrauterine device (it is placed in a woman’s uterus and is recommended for women who have already had children) and then there is the condom. If you want to prevent sexually transmitted infections then I would say your best bet is the condom. It protects you from all STIs including HIV and Hepatitis B.

It is always nice to talk to someone who is older than you and has got some experience in these matters as well. I hope you will really think through your decision to be sexually right now. What ever you decide be safe and don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable physically or emotionally. If you have any more questions you know where to find me. : )