It has been 9 months since I got married. I give oral sex to my wife even though she isn’t that interested in it. I have watched porn and have heard from others that women make various noises during sex. But my wife doesn’t make any sound. I have asked her if she is in any kind of pain but she says no. During intercourse, I also ask her if she is enjoying sex and if she has reached orgasm. She says she doesn’t know what an orgasm is. She is always ready for sex, but I don’t know if she is enjoying sex fully. How can I know that my wife is enjoying sex and if she has reached an orgasm?

First of all, keep in mind that porn is not reflective of what can be considered normal. So do not judge your wife’s performance based on what you have watched in some porn flick. It is true, though, that women do make noises during sex, but it depends on these factors: 1) level of comfort she has with you, 2) level of comfort she has with her own body (especially sexual image) and 3) if she is actually enjoying it. As you know, Nepali culture does not encourage women to embrace their sexuality or to even think about it. So, keep in mind that this may be one reason why she may not be able to share her sexual feelings. You say that she is always ready for sex so it seems that she definitely enjoys being intimate with you. But, again, keep in mind that Nepali culture does not encourage saying “no” so if you feel that she is not in the mood, it might be a good idea to not pressurize her. This will only make her feel like she cannot communicate her feelings to you. One thing to keep in mind is that men and women orgasm differently. While sex for a man usually always culminates into an orgasm, for women, orgasm can occur in two different ways: g-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation. The g-spot orgasm is harder to achieve but if you gently stimulate her clitoris her orgasm is usually guaranteed. Also, focus on the foreplay by trying to engage her entire body in the sexual act. The best way to physically make sure she has reached orgasm is to give her oral sex and to finger her inside while she orgasms so you can feel her pulsating as she orgasms. She may take a bit longer to orgasm if she is shy or inexperienced, so take your time. Communication is the key to any happy marriage and that goes for sex as well. Ask her what she enjoys; share your desires and fantasies and maybe in the beginning she will be shy but in time, she may feel more comfortable opening up her feelings. Emotional intimacy is a huge turn on for women and the more relaxed she is, the more likely she will have an orgasm.