My 19-year-old girlfriend and I are sexually active. We started straight away with penetration but these days we are exploring. She is into oral sex but it makes me sick. She does it really well and I want to do the same for her. But every time I try, I can’t do it. I feel like it is not a manly thing to do. But, I can’t tell her because it might hurt her feelings. This is really bothering me. Can you suggest a fix?

First of all, I think it is really great that you are thoughtful about your partner’s feelings and don’t want to hurt her. It is also good that you are thinking not just about your own pleasures, but hers as well. Perhaps the first thing you need to figure out is what part of going down on her you don’t like. If it is the taste, then I would suggest that you use flavored lube or other edibles as part of your sexual play. Just make sure both of you clean up well before and after to avoid any infections. Why do you feel that going down on a woman is “not a manly thing to do”? Let’s put it this way, if a woman goes down on a man, is it not a womanly thing to do? Do your male friends make you feel “unmanly” when you talk about going down on your woman? Giving each other oral sex is a give and take, and the more the man is willing to go down on a woman, the more it shows to the woman that he cares about her pleasure too. For most women, it’s a turn on and they don’t view their men as “feminine” or “not manly enough.” If you cannot shake this attitude about oral sex, perhaps the first step is to change your attitude about it, and then you may start enjoying the pleasurable reaction of your partner when you are going down on her and this, in turn, will encourage you to give more. In time, you may not feel “unmanly” while doing the act.